The hardest place to start – having that conversation with your spouse about your relationship being over
Staying calm enough to think clearly and don’t enter into any haste decisions from the get go\
Do your research about the professionals that have been in the industry of helping people through divorce/separation until you find the right fit, that process and person who feels suited to your situation.
Let your chosen professional walk you through the process on a step by step basis. Ask a lot of questions, and get educated before you have to make any major decisions.
Gather your marital financial documents – think of all of the accounts that make up your marital pie; investments, bank accounts, business information, tax returns, paystubs, credit cards etc..
Accept that you won’t know and don’t know, what you don’t know……. and that’s okay, you’re not supposed to know everything from the onset of this huge transition.
Utilize support systems so you have a place to vent, to check in, to go through all of the emotions about to come your way; counsellors or your church etc.
Understand that someone else’s story isn’t yours. Your friends and family may mean well and we all look for someone to align with our hurt and the reasons our relationship ended, and although they are coming from a place of what they deem to be ‘support,’ sometimes that can fuel the fire or keep you stuck. Be cautious to choose what’s good, sound support and what’s overloading you with more stress.
Remember that “this to shall pass” and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
Lastly, keep your kids away from the adult business, let them stay kids and able to love both of their parents. They should never have to choose one parent over the other.