Calgary Divorce Solutions – How can I help you and why?
WHY did I choose to take on this career?
- I have been there, it took me 6 yrs to get through my own personal divorce that ended up costing me over $114,000.00 in legal fees. It became my understanding that the legal system is flawed when it comes to dealing with our children via a divorce. NEVER leave the decisions of how your kids will be parented or raised in the hands of others.
- My mandate was to help others to not have to go through anything close to what I had to and that by assisting my clients to stay in control of their outcome was the best way for them to get past this chapter successfully.
- To ensure that as parents, the opportunity to salvage a positive co-parenting relationship was possible via a process that focusses on being FAIR and RESPECTFUL, COST and TIME EFFICIENT.
HOW long have I been in this industry and what knowledge do I bring to my company?
- I’ve been helping people in this industry for over 12 years.
- Completed Conflict Resolution at MRC, now MRU.
- Received my Certified Divorce Financial Analyst designation in 2010.
- Have been a Commissioner for Oaths since 2014.
- Started Working on a Paralegal Diploma in 2019.
- Have taken several financial courses, humanity courses – sociology, psychology, women’s studies, parenting courses – I guess I’d call myself a lifelong student.
- Have put on several seminars to help educate potential clients on what to expect during the separation/divorce process.
- Helped countless of clients facilitate a mutually satisfied report that becomes the content of their legal separation agreement via a lawyer’s involvement which is extremely minimized from that of the traditional system. This report includes: the division of marital property, parenting plans, child and spousal support and completing and filing of their final divorce documents.
Calgary Divorce Solutions – Fair Divorce and Mediation Services
Separation Agreements vs Divorce
Separation Agreements – includes many details, such as; what makes up your marital property, who will keep what, will need to be sold, what will need to be refinanced. how will the kids be taken care of, what kind of financial support is required and for how long. This agreement is the most important document to enter into in order to put some healthy boundaries between you and your soon to be ex spouse.
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Divorce – The final divorce document simply severs your marriage license, it does NOTHING to deal with separating your marital property.
- In AB, you need to be separated for 1 full year, unless you’re filing under abuse/adultery
- You need to file in the province that you’ve resided in for 1 full year
- There are no outstanding financial issues between you
- For ‘joint’ filing, you both need to be on the same page about wanting this final divorce document.
- The cost for these is less than separation agreements and the process much simpler.
Mediating Your Separation Agreement
Where do I start?
- The hardest place to start – having that conversation with your spouse about your relationship being over
- Staying calm enough to think clearly and don’t enter into any haste decisions from the get go\
- Do your research about the professionals that have been in the industry of helping people through divorce/separation until you find the right fit, that process and person who feels suited to your situation.
- Let your chosen professional walk you through the process on a step by step basis. Ask a lot of questions, and get educated before you have to make any major decisions.
- Gather your marital financial documents – think of all of the accounts that make up your marital pie; investments, bank accounts, business information, tax returns, paystubs, credit cards etc..
- Accept that you won’t know and don’t know, what you don’t know……. and that’s okay, you’re not supposed to know everything from the onset of this huge transition.
- Utilize support systems so you have a place to vent, to check in, to go through all of the emotions about to come your way; counsellors or your church etc.
- Understand that someone else’s story isn’t yours. Your friends and family may mean well and we all look for someone to align with our hurt and the reasons our relationship ended, and although they are coming from a place of what they deem to be ‘support,’ sometimes that can fuel the fire or keep you stuck. Be cautious to choose what’s good, sound support and what’s overloading you with more stress.
- Remember that “this to shall pass” and there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
- Lastly, keep your kids away from the adult business, let them stay kids and able to love both of their parents. They should never have to choose one parent over the other.
KIDS CAN THRIVE, EVEN WITH A DIVORCE PENDING IN THEIR FAMILY
Parenting children through a divorce/separation can be done with success, but it takes time, patience and hard work.
Children need to know that no matter what, they won’t have to choose one of you over the other, and they don’t need to hear you argue or fight over the “adult issues.”
Children need to remain focused on ‘their own’ worlds, the need to be kids, the need to know that their world will be okay and most important “THEY NEED TO KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON, BUT NOT UNTIL US AS THE PARENTS/ADULTS KNOW!
It’s a fallacy that kids shouldn’t be told anything. If kids know what to expect in an age appropriate manner, then they’re likely less to buck at the transition as things start to change. Don’t be surprised that some kids, just know more than you think!
Don’t forget that if you have kids under the age of 16, then you’ll both need to take a PARENTING AFTER SEPARATION COURSE (PAS). I highly recommend taking this course, sooner than later, after all, more information about how to parent in two separate homes in the early stages of separation, can only be of benefit to all of you.
Just because your marriage didn’t work, doesn’t mean that the parenting of your children won’t.
They deserve both of you!
A Satisfied Client
Linda,
Thank you for helping me through this emotionally taxing process. Dealing with the financial side of a separation was the last thing I wanted to think about when my relationship ended, but you guided both of us through it with kindness and empathy.
I really appreciated your availability; whenever I had a question or worry, you were quick to respond. You made sure I understood exactly what everything meant and I ended up with a better grasp of our finances than I had ever had during the marriage.
It was comforting to have your support during this time, which could have been far more stressful and overwhelming than it was. I would very highly recommend you and your company.
Again; much thanks,
N.M – Calgary, Alberta – September 2016
Parenting After Separation Course in Alberta (PAS)
If divorce/separation is your reality and you have children under that age of majority, then in Alberta you’ll both need to take this online parenting course.
I always suggest to my clients to take this course as soon as possible, since there’s always something we can learn or something that we can be reminded of, while we’re going through this major transition. Our main goal when we have kids should be….. not to have our kids be the pull and tug between us.
Here’s the link to register for the course;
http://pas.albertacourts.ab.ca/
Separation/Divorce via Mediation
How long should the separation process take? That’s really up to the two of you.
- If you can recognize that the laws are there to protect you BOTH and that you’re BOTH working from the same set of rules, then that’s step one.
- Step two – you both need to be reasonable and forget about trying to make your soon to be ex, PAY financially for whatever the reason was, that ended your relationship.
- Step Three – get educated before you start talking between the two of you. You can’t expect to commit to something when you don’t know, what you don’t know.
- The mediation process is really for individuals who aren’t out to dwell on or prove who did what to whom, but for those who want to move forward. It’s for those who would rather KEEP their networth between them, not exhaust it by lengthy legal battles.
- It’s for those who seek to salvage a relationship for the sake of staying parents to the children between you, not for those who use their kids to bargain an outcome. It’s also not for those who make every effort to taint the image of the opposing parent to the children in hopes of having them align with only one of you.
IF IT’S DONE, IT’s DONE, but part ways with your dignity intact. It took both of you to get to the stage of ending your relationship, so there are no winners and it’s not easy for either of you.
If you feel you’ve made every effort to make your marriage work, then acceptance is huge in order for the healing to begin.
Call 403.460.2800 today for a free, confidential consultation.
Dividing Your Assets
Getting Educated is key……choose to be a part of the process (mediate), not a result of the process (litigate).
Getting Through Your Divorce/Separation
The passionate part of my love for my job comes from the uniqueness of my clients and their situations, there’s no two stories the same.
Divorce and separation can touch anyone, all walks of people with a variety of networths (from thousands to millions), in all sorts of professions. What remains common to most is that divorce is painful, it it creates uncertainty in all that we are, affects our working worlds, it affects our children and their normal routines, our extended family relationships change, our financial worlds are challenged and whatever your role was while in a marriage is no longer what it’ll be in the days to come.
Acceptance, responsibility, good professional help (counselors, mediators, divorce specialists etc…), a regular routine of your own that provides you with positive influences (not people who advocate for your misery or add their own negative twists to it) some exercise and lots of sleep. All of these can help make, what otherwise can feel like an endless whirlwind of chaos, a situation that you have some sense of direction in and some control over.
Get help early, find out what you don’t know and spend some quality time with yourself so that you can commit to getting through this hurdle with dignity and minimal destruction. Leave the hate, resentment and hurt to your counselling and other support people to help you with, but don’t bring them to the negotiation/mediation table. Bringing emotions to the negotiation table will only prolong the pain and the process.
Mediating the Terms of Your Separation AgreementMediation is simply a process that uses a neutral third party in order to keep the flow of the conversations
happening between the Parties.
Where do you begin?how do you know what questions to ask and where to go to ask them if you’ve never been faced with the Separation/Divorce? Are you ready to enter into separation?
